It’s risky. I’m in my peak earning years, yet work is harder to find and budgets are tighter than ever. The value of my house has dropped, the balance in my 401(k) has plummeted, and the economy sucks. I could be in a world of hurt. But rather than letting my anxiety get the best of me, I’ve stepped away from deadlines and into a sabbatical.”

If you are still sitting in front of your computer, postponing joy, here’s the entire piece.

Last week our friend Emma Gilbey Keller–journalist, bon vivant, supermom, and author of “The Comeback”–began a guest editor position at the XXFactor, a spin-off of Slate. 

I’m pleased to announce that Emma invited me and my family to tell our BreakAway stories for her new blog. 

• If all is working properly, here’s THE LINK!  Check it out.  Maybe even leave a comment!  

Thanks, Emma!  I owe you a Red Stripe! 

In the 139 days since I’ve been back from our latest BreakAway, I’ve noticed some shifts and differences in my mindframe and routine.  Here’s a quick list of 11:

Post-BreakAway I…

• Care less about my home (for better and worse).
• Care less about the kids’ activities—playdates, sports, school. 
• Feel more independent, in too many ways to mention. 
• Feel more attached to a larger (if often invisible) world. 
• Hear inner voices more clearly (but haven’t yet gone completely nuts).  :  ) 
• Made some not-profound discoveries:  Sleep more; play guitar; read daily. 
• Know for sure that few things can compete with sun, exercise, rest, and nature for offering inner peace and calm. 
• Confirmed that the fewer clothes I have to wear, the more free I feel. 
• Believe more passionately than ever in Unplugging; now if only my family…
• Love street culture; islanders hang out a lot, whereas Minnesotans only do in the summer. 
• Get hit hard by the “go-homes” after a BreakAway—but it’s not only worth it, it’s a big part of the personal growth equation. 

Do you like music?  Noise?  Convivial gatherings and raucous laughter?  Me too.  But on the other hand, I’m finding that silence and solitude make my playlist more and more as the years go by.  For this week’s BreakAway BreakThrough, I’m here to remind you to take time out to listen to that little voice within—the one that says things like, “Take it easy,” “Take a break,” and “BreakAway—someday.”  

BABT3: The Silence Treatment… 11 ways to tune in, turn on and peace out

• Find a place—and time of day—to meditate occasionally…after lunch?  Before bed? 
• Sit outside with your eyes closed; hear the birds and feel the breeze. 
• Thoughtstreams rarely stop, so give them short notice and then let them float away. 
• Contemplate one word or idea that you’re trying to increase in your life. 
• Eat in peace:  Savor every flavor, feel the freshness, and bask in gratitude. 
• Lie down and do a “body scan,” in which you slowly feel all body parts from toe to head. 
• If you fall asleep easily, keep your eyes open slightly and stare at something soothing.   
• If “Buster” (that jerk in your head) is barking, beat him back with with an upbeat stick. 
• Unplug before bed:  Turn off all media, digitalia, and people a half-hour before sleep. 
• Walk alone on a country road, a frozen lake, a secluded beach, or a green hill. 
• Expect one insight—whether profound or banal—and ponder it as you re-enter the noise.

 Do you have any favorite zen suggestions–or BreakThrough tips to share?  Leave a comment please!

One of the best benefits of our 69-day BreakAway was that it forced my family into a less digi-centric lifestyle.  And with fresh stimuli and waves surrounding us, nobody seemed to mind.  In fact, they were happier.  But back home, we’re back to tapping and texting and remoting away the day.  But I don’t give in—or up. 

So here are 11 new & improved ways to reduce digi-drain and feel more free. 

• Avoid going to your computer or device first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. 
• Ritualize some prioritized activities, like yoga, meditation, reading, or gardening. 
• Leave ALL tech toys out of your bedroom, and make it a sacred, soothing space. 
• Don’t text and drive.
• Minimize cell-phone driving. 
• Focus on what matters (and manners):  Intentionally leave your cell phone elsewhere when at church, with friends, or having any good conversation. 
• Play games—cards, backgammon, horseshoes—and do puzzles, crosswords, and real stuff with real things you can touch. 
• Create family digi-free zones, times, days, and places. 
• Maintain guidelines for the kids:  Texting the new GF comes after reading, cleaning, and helping out. 
• Avoid giving all your numbers to anyone and everyone; use your different numbers for different people and “time zones” (friends vs. clients, etc.).
• Get outside daily, dammit; it’s so much better than any electro-thrill around. 

The job world keeps getting more co-ed with every passing year.  Oh sure, some fields are still a Boys Club—politics, money, more.  But others are becoming Girls Clubs.  And many employers prefer hiring women over men, if only to meet quotas.  Women are making great gains in the workplace, yet are still free to opt out and stay home.  Why can’t men enjoy such equality?

As this survey points out, nearly one-third of working men would make significant sacrifices to quit working or spend more time with their kids.

Survey Sez: 

• 31%. Percentage of working dads who said they would leave their jobs if their spouse or significant other’s income could comfortably support the entire familly. 
  
• 30%.  Despite a tough economy, percentage of working dads who said they are willing to take a pay cut to spend more time with their children.  

Those stats are sad, really, because the child-raising phase of one’s life is short.  Since kids are largely independent by, say, 12, most families only “need” ongoing parenting for 15 years or so.  That’s about one-fifth of a typical lifetime.  What a bummer to miss most of those sweet years, slaving away instead—especially if he would prefer not to. 

So then, why are home-dads still such a rare breed?  Here are some of my best guesses…

• Stigma.  Society still fails to embrace the notion. 
• Dishonor.  Many men fear society’s judgement—and a possible loss of pride. 
• Income.  Men still make more, on average (though that’s changing fast). 
• Double income.  Many families think they can’t make it without two revenue streams. 
• Divorce.  If you’re a single dad, staying home with your kids may be impossible. 
• Re-entry.  Leaving a career is risky business, and can result in countless compromises. 
• Training.  Unfortunately, women still do more housework—and have learned how.
• Mom Power.  If both parents wish to be home more, the woman usually wins. 
  

This is serious stuff.  After all, it’s an ageless American legend:  Dad didn’t get to spend enough time with his kids—he realizes at age 55.  He regrets it.  He realizes his career was relatively meaningless, and that he is dispensable.  Even his own kids may feel that way. 

But it’s too late to do anything about it.  So…what?  He lives out his final years with a sense of disappointment and failure?  He tries to bond with his kids in their adulthood?  He vows to be a great grand-dad?  Or he just accepts it and moves on—with any luck. 

Please pardon my predictable conclusion:  BreakAways are not just for the rich and self-actualized.  They’re also for dads who simply want to change diapers, cook healthy food for their family, and above all:  Hug their kids.  Any time, on any day. 

What’s wrong with that? 

One cool trend emerging from the global downturn is that some savvy firms that are not just firing folks, but offering them Sabbaticals instead.  Talk about civilized, sane, and exciting.  Yet employees, even highly paid lawyers, balk at the idea for obvious reasons:  fear of the future, the unknown and a real or perceived lack of financial stability. 

Yet the movement shows promise, since this may be the biggest boost for sabbaticals, well, ever.  We all wish the offers came out of rich coffers.  But if free time is the silver lining to this downturn, all is not lost!  This website goes gaga about BreakAways—but never once says that arranging one is cheap or easy. That’s particularly true when a monster-company institutes them.

• As we reported earlier this year, the European auto industry has turned to all kinds of sabbatical schemes and temporary shutdowns in hopes of riding out the recession.  
• Back in the states, at law firm Caldwater, Wichersham & Taft, a bunch of lawyers can take a “one-year, unrestricted sabbatical,” with medical bennies and one-third of their pay.  The company will match you with a nonprofit for volunteer work.  I’m in!   
• The massive UK telecom-glomerate, BT, has created a “Time Out” package that hands you a year off with 25% of your pay.  There’s another option:  Take a cash bonus to go from full-time to part-time for year.  C’mon, friends:  This is the break you’ve been dreaming about!  Yet a company rep states there is “currently a low level of interest in taking sabbaticals because of operational pressures and people’s individual financial needs.”  Harrumph.  
• One of Spain’s biggest banks, BBVA, tempts staff with 3-5 years off at 30% pay.  They guarantee you a job at the end of your Big BreakAway AND maintain your healthcare throughout.  You can even pursue other professional projects.  (Open a flower shop, caterer, or consultancy, anyone?)  You may shorten your work commitment to tend to relatives or your own education.  Spaniards can thank their tough labor laws; now, can they reap the rewards?
• And finally, in friendly Finland, Labor Minister Tarja Cronberg reports that a study on Finland’s sabbatical program—in place since their last downturn in 1996—has proven to be successful.  Young people have especially benefitted.  Now there’s a small country that thinks BIG.  

All to say:  Sabbaticals live.  In fact, they thrive.  Now more than ever.  So even if you think, “Oh, I could never do that!!”  remember that your boss may one day encourage or insist.  So keep an open mind.  Keep some savings at the ready.  And keep on dreamin’ and schemin’…