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NYT Mag Declares “Facebook Exodus”

Posted on: Sunday, August 30th, 2009
Posted in: Unplugging, Blog | One comment
Read all about it:  Maybe Facebook is just another fad—destined to go the way of the CB radio (Go ahead break!)  In this short but expert article, Virginia Heffernan describes the not-so hidden motives of FB, including to create profiles of YOU as a CONSUMER and compete with Google.  Some former enthusiasts have had enough, and are happily moving on. 
 
Why?  Here are some of the reasons cited…
 
  • “One person…disliked how nosy it made her.” 
  • “Another thought the scene had turned desperate.”
  • “A third feared stalkers.” 
  • “A fourth believed his privacy had been compromised.” 
  • “Facebook is the devil.” 
  • It “felt dead.” 
 
Heffernan describes that FB has had a handful of waves of quitters.  Believe it or not, one happened when copyright problems caused FB to stop offering Scrabulous.  Another group got annoyed by the way FB claims ownership of user contributions.  Some just lose interest.  And others—my favorite reason—get “creeped out.”  Ish! 
 
Some of us have a healthy/unhealthy love/hate relationship with FB and its many kissing cousins.  Sure, it’s easy to get lost (for hours) carousing on, as some call it, a “timesuck.”  But when that experience ends, was it fulfilling?  Did we truly connect with anyone?  Could a beer with a friend or a phone call to a loved one possibly be more meaningful? 
 
Decide for yourself.  But for the sake of your other myriad interests—and that friend and loved one—remember to unplug now and then.  After all, real roses smell so much better than fake ones. 
 
 

Been there. Did that. And loved it.

Posted on: Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
Posted in: Sabbatical Shuffle, Blog | Leave a comment
Sabbatical Soulmates, we call them.  In this case, Wayne and Megan Davies, a Calgary couple, and their two kids ditched big-city life to escape to Costa Rica for a year.  Their insights are familiar, yet profound.  Check out their story for a glimpse into the paybacks, drawbacks and—perhaps the hardest part of all—the comeback.
 
Or if you prefer, here’s the condensed version, plus brief comments…
 
The feeling of balance and serenity we’d so desperately sought, and found, is already gone, swept away in the pace of this frenetic city.”    
…Yep, the comeback can be crass, but it’s still so worth it. 
 
In many ways, moving abroad is the new sports car of the mid-life crisis.”  
Although some rare birds fly off on BreakAways throughout life, a mid-life crisis may offer serendipitous alignment.  And really, it can be so much more beneficial than, say, an affair, a divorce, or even a Porsche. 
 
The couple discussed taking time off before, but it was the sudden death of a friend, diagnosed with cancer at age 54, that spurred them into action.”  
It’s easy to get complacent—or too patient.  But life can implode in an instant.  So get going when the going is good! 
 
It took about six months to find the perfect balance.”  
A sabbatical is not a sure shot to bliss.  That’s why giving yourself as much time as possible ups the odds of finding ultimate enjoyment. 
 
As a family, we bonded closer than ever as we trekked into unfamiliar emotional territory and over geographical borders.”  
There may be no better way for a family to get connected than to disconnect from the daily agenda. 
 
The longer we were gone, the less we missed Calgary.”  
Although many people claim to “love” where they live, this family proves it’s easy to fall in love with the larger world too.  There’s a lot to love!

BABT8: Big Break Lake Vakay

Posted on: Friday, August 21st, 2009
Posted in: SoulTrain, Blog | One comment
Most Americans know the timeless bliss of getting away to the lake.  I’m enjoying two weeks at my favorite, Lake Okoboji (Iowa) right now.  Amid a menu of docks, pontoons and board games are “new” toys like wifi joints, gi-normous TVs and video games.  Tempting, yes.  But in this weeks’s BreakAway BreakThrough (BABT) I must remind myself of why I am here, and then dive in! 
 
BABT8:  Big Break Lake Vakay … 11 ways I’ll keep the lake break timeless & real
 
  • Find nostalgia.  Tonight, the kids will experience their first drive-in movie.
  • Rest.  For just one day, I’ll mostly sit on the dock, from sunrise to sunset. 
  • Read.  For classic enlightenment, it’s Fitzgerald’s “This Side of Paradise.”  For modern motivation, I’ll ponder Daniel Pink’s “A Whole New Mind.”
  • Play games.  The Boy loves bocce and now knows cribbage; even the Girl finds “Apples to Apples” appealing. 
  • Get wet.  Swim every day; make heroic throws and catches with a tennis ball. 
  • Celebrate tradition.  Dare to ride the old wooden roller coaster at 120-year old Arnolds Amusement Park. 
  • Go local.  I’ll chat up fellow Boji brethren at Harold’s Fisherman’s Wharf, not Godfather’s. 
  • Love rain.  It keeps trees green and lakes blue—and offers the chance to do puzzles, play guitar and take naps. 
  • Try something new.  Okay, I’ll finally climb aboard a Jet-Ski…and likely love it! 
  • Embrace family.  All my living relatives will visit—and I’ll grill up a feast. 
  • Feel music.  I’ll soak up legends like torch-songstress Marilyn Maye, then hit the bars where the cover bands crank it up. 
What’s YOUR favorite summer escape?  Leave a comment please!

Dare to take a sabbatical, mate?

Posted on: Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
Posted in: Sabbatical Shuffle, Blog | Leave a comment
The global recession continues to force companies to get creative about offering–even mandating–sabbaticals to help cut costs.  Which forces employees to ponder (and sometimes embrace) the concept, with mixed opinions and emotions.  According to the Telegraph, over in the UK:
Increasing numbers of professionals are taking up sabbaticals offered by recession-hit firms seeking to cut costs but avoid redundancies. In return for a drop in salary of between 70 and 75 per cent, employees can take a unique opportunity to restore their work-life balance… But do the pitfalls of being away from the office outweigh the positives?”

 

The article by Judith Woods offers some insightful anecdotes and real-life examples of people who have chosen to say Yes. Here are some of the key themes:

  • Suspicion!  Naturally, some question the paradox of showing your allegiance to the company by… not coming to work. 
  • Fear!  They also worry that those not present will be the first to go if the firing squad starts shooting. 
  • Joy!  The savvy and lucky are flying off to exotic locales, spending time with family, and picking up their paintbrush. 
  • Service!  Kind-hearted souls are using the gift of time to help make the world a better place:  These sabbaticals are very positive. Children in desperate need are being supported and we’re also helping our company to get out of the current crisis. As far as I’m concerned it’s a classic win-win situation.”
  • Begging!  No, not for money—but, and I quote one of the interviewees, “Everyone who has had a month off has been begging for it to be introduced as a permanent perk. 

 

 

Amen!  Bottom line?  People everywhere are learning—if by force—that there’s more to life than work, and that jobs come sans guarantees. 

The good news:  They’re also discovering that time is more valuable than money. 

Survey Sez: Work More Hours!

Posted on: Sunday, August 16th, 2009
Posted in: HR FYI, Blog | Leave a comment
Remember the 40-hour workweek?  Seems that’s gone the way of the 5-cent cigar.  It’s no wonder businesspeople burn out, become coffee addicts, and need anti-depressants.  

On one hand, America’s work ethic is something to be proud of.  On the other hand, don’t such productive people deserve an occasional Sabbatical? 
 
  • 77.  Percentage of senior executives and managers who work 41 to 60 hours a week 
  • 11.  Percentage of business leaders who work 11 hours or more a day
  • 40.  Percentage of businesspeople who work 10 or more hours a day
 
Source:  NFI Research.  (Star Tribune 8-14-09)

BABT7: Date Night Done Right

Posted on: Friday, August 14th, 2009
Posted in: SoulTrain, Blog | Leave a comment

Date night means different things to different couples, but it need not (always) mean the same old supper club, cinema, or barstool.  If you’ve got a partner—or a favorite friend—make the occasional rendezvous remarkable by firing up your imagination and destination.  This weeks’s BreakAway BreakThrough (BABT) is here to remind you that: Life is short.  Enjoy every sandwich.  And love the one you’re with. 

 
BABT7:  Date Night Done Right … 11 ways to spice up your time together
 
  • Take turns arranging the date, so that both parties plan a party that pleases them. 
  • Remember romance.  Easy gestures like flowers, compliments and hand-holding help keep the love-heart pumping. 
  • For God’s sake, go unplugged.  It’s a rude turn-off to watch your date have text with others. 
  • Ask 101 questions sometimes.  Humans change; you may not know your partner as well as you think. 
  • Shake up your destination and doings:  Mex or Mac’s?  Theater or bowling?  Skate by the lake or sex on the beach? 
  • Revisit places you frequented back in the day; reminisce and rekindle that special spark. 
  • Sure, double-date or do group-grope sometimes.  Let friends show you their idea of a good time. 
  • Assign occasional homework: Read this book; find cheap eats; make a list of unresolved stuff. 
  • If you’re in a talk rut of work, fam and gossip, speed-chat through that and then open yourselves up.
  • Occasionally, talk from the heart about your fantasies and dreams.  They’re more likely to come true.
  • Make time to make progress on your BreakAway schemes—whether summer vakay, weekend away, or one year off. 

Do you have any hot tips or stories to share?  Leave a comment please!

Kids at Camp & Letting Go

Posted on: Monday, August 10th, 2009
Posted in: SoulTrain, Blog | Leave a comment
Summer camp is likely the first real BreakAway that many kids experience—and also a full immersion for parents in setting their children free.  In this touching essay, Michael Gerson ponders all that and more, only to conclude that “It is also harder than I thought.  And I don’t know how to let go.” 
 
My 12-year old is gone at camp for 10 days.  Fortunately, this is Year 5.  So I not only find it easier each year, I probably enjoy it more.  After all, tweenie-kids these days:  They’ve already got SOs, 24/7 text-mania, hectic social (and school and sports) lives, and most of the answers. 
 
So in some ways, my role as a dad becomes more extraneous by the minute.  Yet it’s also the most important “work” in my life—while the job lasts—so I fight for family time, music practice, manners lessons, and a real relationship.  But do I miss those challenges when I get a 10-day reprieve?  Not so much.  I mean, sometimes a guy needs a break!
 
No doubt he does too.  Though he many not know it, campfire silliness and learning to canoe and making new friends trump texting and pool-play at the end of the day—and your life. 
 
A few decades later, I can definitely say that the most memorable experiences of my childhood included that three-week camp at the ranch.  The summer weeks that I stayed on at my grandparents’ farm.  The carefree independence of teen summer itself—when a bike and some friends was ALL you needed. 
 
I’ve been scratching itchy feet and searching for free will ever since—now blessed to take a lengthy Sabbatical now and then.  I learned how from summer vacations. 
 
So the best lesson of summer camp may be for a kid to learn to take a break…get away.  And yes, that includes from the parents. 
 

BABT6: Make Time for Music

Posted on: Friday, August 7th, 2009
Posted in: SoulTrain, Blog | Leave a comment
It’s time once again for your weekly BreakAway BreakThrough (BABT).  Every Friday (or so) I offer some simple suggestions to help you slow down and savor your free time—and get you one step closer to your radical Sabbatical.  Today’s theme?  Music!

Sometimes music gets a bad rap these days.  “Songs” are all attitude and chatter, and often devoid of actual singing.  “Autotune” turns voices into robots.  Mash-ups and electonica replace real instruments.  And kids skip through their playlist with the attention span of a fly.  Meanwhile, sound quality gets abused—condensed and often replayed through dime-sized speakers. 
 
Still, music is a big blessing—and can provide a magical BreakAway from the cacophony of routine monotony.  A daily course of music—real music, with intent listening—nourishes like a smoothie for the soul.  Or, as Maude (of movie “Harold and Maude”) says, “Music is the language of the stars!” 
 
BABT6:  Make Time for Music11 ways to plug in, tune in, and amp it up

  • Got an instrument?  Pick it up and start pickin’ and grinnin’. 
  • Go through your music collection and play stuff you’ve been neglecting for a while. 
  • When there’s a good tune on the car radio, don’t get out til it’s over. 
  • Support local, live performers whenever you can sneak away. 
  • Insist that your children learn to read and play music—no matter how unharmonious the occasional tussle. 
  • Always throw (at least) a buck in a busker’s bucket. 
  • Turn off all other media and annoyances, and let yourself really listen. 
  • Sing!  It’s as natural as eating, drinking, and dancing—and it feels good in your body. 
  • Weather permitting, head out to hear outdoor live music early and often. 
  • Invest in a dang good sound system; make one room (or more) a sunny, sonic sanctuary. 
  • Do like John Cage and sense the earthy music of the train, cricket, wind, and waves. 

Is music one of your ways to escape–or get closer to what matters to you?  Leave a comment please!

Bev Bachel’s Big Break

Posted on: Saturday, August 1st, 2009
Posted in: Blog | 4 comments
Bev Bachel may be one of the Twin Cities’ most successful (and independent) communications mavens, but she also knows when to say when.  She recently took time to chat with me and then publicly announced her hiatus to fellow writers via the website of Minneapolis’s The Loft Literary Center. 
 
You gotta love the way she confronts the realities of walking away from stability and, possibly, stepping into “a world of hurt.”  Anyone who’s been there knows that those mixed emotions can rage like a spring river in the days before you set off in your new-life raft…  Bev says:
 
It’s risky. I’m in my peak earning years, yet work is harder to find and budgets are tighter than ever. The value of my house has dropped, the balance in my 401(k) has plummeted, and the economy sucks. I could be in a world of hurt. But rather than letting my anxiety get the best of me, I’ve stepped away from deadlines and into a sabbatical.”
 
Bev also talks to Carline Miller, a life coach and co-author of Creating Your Best Life—an inspiring book about goal-setting and positive psychology.  Miller may be all about productivity, but she also asserts that taking breaks can be an “ideal way to recharge your batteries so that you can return to your goals feeling refreshed and re-energized.”

Knowing Bev, her Sabbatical will be a busy one.  But rather than doing what her devoted clients and colleagues want, she’ll be doing what her self wants to do. 
 
Thanks for the shout-out, Bev.  Let’s chat again when you find yourself midstream in your blessed journey. 
 

BABT5: Bust a move!

Posted on: Friday, July 31st, 2009
Posted in: SoulTrain, Blog | Leave a comment
Do you love working out?  If so, good for you.  If not, join the club.  Still, whether it becomes a healthy habit or just an occasional endeavor, taking a break to release some angst (and endorphins) is most always worth the effort.  And maybe that overdue round of golf will lead to new friends, habits or a PGA Tour.  

Yep, this week’s BreakAway BreakThrough is all about shaking your groove thang.
 
BABT5:  Bust a Move  11 ways to break out of your sedentary routine

  • Try your luck at one of today’s fastest-growing games:  Frizbee golf. 
  • Walk the dog—or someone else’s—and make a puppy happy.
  • Rent something that floats and ride upstream:  canoe, kayak or sailboat. 
  • Tune up your old bike and take a spin on your neighborhood bike trails.
  • Get up and go bowling in your spare time.   
  • Take a stroll to smell some roses.  Doesn’t really matter where you’re going.
  • Visit a batting-machine cage and take a swing at hitting. 
  • Come into the cold with skiing or show-shoeing. 
  • Tennis, anyone?
  • This one goes well with beer:  Cornholing (though some people call it bean bag toss). 
  • Whether alone or at the disco, dance (as the saying goes) like nobody’s watching. 
 Do you have any favorite moves–or BreakThrough tips to share?  Leave a comment please!