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Retirement $: Be Very Afraid!

Posted on: Thursday, July 24th, 2014
Posted in: Blog | Leave a comment

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThank goodness the good people at Meet Plan Go offered me a gig to write about Baby Boomer travel and career breaks—or this blog might get lost on Summer BreakAway. That said, I’ve been enjoying (and enduring) some travel myself, with more to come—the best excuse around for not writing or living on-screen.

Some recent research about Baby Boomers highlights the bad news about the finances of many Americans born after 1964 (not that the finances of younger folks are much better). This is not new news. But as Boomers start entering variations of retirement, the Boom Doom & Gloom becomes much more relevant.

So that’s what I wrote about, and try not to think about too much. MPG and I just want people to realize their long-term travel dreams. Take a break from careers now and then. And have enough eggs in the nest to be able to fly away from work and worry. You know, right!?!

Read it and reap, and try not to weep. And, please, don’t be like the bad Boomers: Try to stash away some cash if you can.

Happy sails, *kirk

Mid-lifers Crave Work-Life Balance

Posted on: Tuesday, July 1st, 2014
Posted in: HR FYI, Blog | Leave a comment

DSC_0149USA Today (today) offers a story/survey about workers in their 40s and 50s. And—guess what!—what they want most in their careers is better work-life balance and less stress. The only thing regarded as more important is—guess what!—money.

Survey sez:

Among the changes that midlife adults want to make in the next five to 10 years:

  • 82% want to give back more;
  • 80% want to pursue one or more of their passions;
  • 75% want to make their lives more meaningful;
  • 74% want to travel more;
  • 53% want to pursue a new hobby;
  • 48% want to make a change to their personal life;
  • 46% want to make a change to their professional life.
  • One piece of cool news: 91% are very or somewhat satisfied with their lives.

There’s discussion of changing careers, meaning, purpose, giving back, “a desire to do something different,” and more. We get quotes from HR mavens, career coaches and authors, and the folks behind Life Reimagined—a recent AARP offshoot endeavoring to move beyond the old and retired stigma. Good idea.

Funny thing is, though, there’s not one word career breaks. Or what this site dubs Temporary Retirement. Not even vacation gets a mention.

Ever notice how WORK-life balance seems to all about work? I mean, take yourself for a week (or a year) to the lake, to the mountains, to that faraway destination of your dreams: That’s when you realize there’s so much more to life than work!

Our Career Break Movement isn’t dead. It’s just gone to the bathroom. Keep the faith…

A Father’s Day Rant for Dads Who Rock

Posted on: Saturday, June 14th, 2014
Posted in: Rants & Roadkill, Blog | Leave a comment

DSC_0013As another Hallmark holiday happens, I pat myself on the back (this time) because I remembered to send a gift—one that I know my dad will enjoy. One hopes this makes up for the dozens of times I probably forgot to even call. With every passing year, I appreciate my dad more and feel grateful he’s still kickin’, fishin’, and golfin’.

This dad can only hope my kids feel approximately the same way, now or later. And as for gifts, I’ll take an unplugged Sunday supper—with all devices put away. Maybe help me with the gardens (I have too many). And, oh yeah, cook me dinner: procure, prep, serve, clean up and put everything away. PBJ will do. Just prove you could feed yourself if I kick the bucket list– and lavish me with five KP-free hours.

  • Dads who rock: Caught in a hard place

A recent WashPost article highlights the rise of the “stay-at-home” dads; a Pew Research Center study found that the number has doubled over the past 25 years. Some dad-advocate groups, meanwhile, contend that the actual number is much higher.

First, let’s acknowledge the stupidity of the label, “stay-at-home.” I mean, what parent raising their kids as a primary purpose lounges around their crib? They’re erranding, heading out for activities, volunteering at schools and daycares, and managing logistics that might rival a wedding planner in these crazy-busy times.

Frankly, it can be a pretty sucky job. Several studies—that focus on moms, naturally—have found an alarmingly high incidence of depression in professional moms who take lengthy career breaks to raise children. I remember one touching essay by a mom longing to get back to work. By most mid-afternoons, she felt like burning down the messy house and swilling her first glass of wine.

Yet for dads, not only has the chief-parent option been largely discouraged, the unflattering stigma has kept many men from even considering the possibility. So how come—for decades now—women’s lib has been letting them roar and gradually march toward both equality and freedoms of choice, while men have been expected to work work work?

We’ve fought for the rights of women, minorities, gays, the disabled, and more. But the mere mention of asking for improvement in areas where dads often get short-shrifted (like primary-parenting and custody) elicits snark, disbelief, or even anger from, well, many women.

Meanwhile, women can now, with any luck, choose between work, parenting, and yes, career breaks. Speaking of, it’s no coincidence that research finds that the vast majority of career breakers are women. Same holds true for maternity/paternity leaves. Don’t like it, men? Shut up and get back to work.

  • No one gains from oppression

So on this Father’s Day, I salute the admirable way that males have adapted to radical gender role changes at a rapid pace—and generally welcomed women into the workspace, the sports fields, and the VIP positions. Above all, I commend the dads, “stay-at-home” or otherwise, for the countless ways they put others first to make the world a better place.

My dad worked his butt off—with full-time positions featuring long hours and moonlighting jobs to boot. But he was always there for me—and he still is.

That holds true for millions of dads in this country, and billions more worldwide. So happy Father’s Day, guys. You rock. Let’s just hope that, in the future, that increasingly includes the option of rocking your children to sleep, while putting your day job on hold.

Memory Bank Riches: Tuscany, 2012

Posted on: Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Posted in: Travelog, Blog | Leave a comment

DSC_0059 - Version 2 P1030074My last BreakAway was exactly two years ago. Our extended family (11 of us!) flew off to Italy for 17 days. You know you’re alive when you go, in a matter of hours, from watching your son run with fleet speed in the state baseball tournament to healing jet lag on a Tuscan terrazzo.

Travel always comes at a cost—not just the cash kind. In this case, we stole our son from his team; how did we know they’d still be alive in the big tourney? But you make choices—and sacrifices—to make long-term travel happen. Basking in the Tuscan sun and drinking in the wine, cuisine, and people cured all second guesses.

That Euro journey took epic planning and coordination. 11 people? Three families (with homes and pets and jobs and … )? 35 days away from busy-busy for my four—who moved on to Scandinavia for the last three weeks.

Sure, it would have been nice to stay home and win State. But landing in Italy and watching the kids have water-balloon fights in a mountain village makes for an even richer memory.

MPG Breaks My Episode of Silence

Posted on: Saturday, May 17th, 2014
Posted in: Blog | Leave a comment

P1080110“I’m returning from my sabbatical from blogging” may be the most common post start out there. Over the years I’ve avoided that line, yet I just fell off the keyboard for a month. But how can you take a sabbatical from sabbatical writing? That’s like using the silence treatment during a vow of silence.

Speaking of, my last entry was, “The Sounds and Sights of Silence.” That must have gone to head and heart. As did the winter that inspired that post and the deep silence that followed it. Weather can be oppressive. It’s hard to overestimate the mass-psycho SAD that happens here with endless winter. A month can slide by like a skater in the darkness.

  • Thank God for Meet, Plan, Go!

They’ve been taking a bit of a blog and event break themselves, yet the good people at Meet, Plan, Go + partners like rtwexpenses keep leading the Career Break movement. And they’ve dubbed me the Boomer Voice and awarded me a monthly column. That’s link luv enough for me. After all, when you’re silent and frozen, such connections may thaw your creative juices and get you moving again.

Speaking of moving, this guest-post reports on trends in boomer travel. “Boomers Are Going Places.” Click, awaken from YOUR hibernation, and ponder where you might go as you enter your later-life years—or tomorrow, for that matter.

Happy sails…

The Sounds (& Sights) of Silence

Posted on: Friday, April 18th, 2014
Posted in: Unplugging, Blog | Leave a comment

photoThis morning, I woke up too early. The wind had been whistling and whirring for hours. And when I headed down the hallway, the cold breeze that sneaks through lake-facing windows chilled me. Then I saw snow. And when I went outside and walked down to the lake: Ice. Chunks slowly crashed and stacked up like a giant cocktail.

When winter has already dragged on for six months, these are not happy sights. “Sh*t,” I heard myself say out loud. Then the ice started moving, creaking; the wind rustled dead grasses and blew leaves through the air. And the scene struck me as brilliant, if unwelcome. So I sat down and stared.

My cell phone bulged in my pocket, and I thought of pulling it out and pulling up a weather forecast. Then I thought better of it—and had a brief fantasy of chucking the thing onto an ice chunk and watch it shatter and set me free.

My kids? And half the people around us? They’d have their headphones in, thus missing the sounds of nature. They’d also likely pull that phone out and start tapping away at something. Would they even see the bizarre ice blocks? Would they even know that, just yesterday, the ice blew away the other way and gave us a mile-long strip of water—a gift for early kayaking?

In my house, the screens and charging cords keep multiplying like spring rabbits. Indeed, one must hop like a bunny to avoid stepping on them—and constantly move them to find room for a meal or project. The “screen-free zones” idea didn’t work, along with a dozen other guidelines.

So screens go into the bathroom. Keyboards keep clicking alongside roasted chicken. Homework means one minute in the books, then two on the iPhone: book, phone, back, forth. Phones go to bed and become the first touch in the morning. Apps tell you how you slept—because allowing yourself to surmise that (or not) would be Too Little Information (TLI).

Is it any wonder meditation and yoga are booming? Sure, their benefits stand on their own. But maybe the trend also suggests that, on some level, people are realizing they’re frying their senses and longing for simple stillness and silence. (My yoga and meditation teachers would NEVER play music during a session, though many do. Whatever.)

I’m a music junkie; it rarely goes off. So quiet ain’t my normal groove. Still, sometimes when the house is empty, I go a whole day (or however many hours I have) with no music, no TV, and as little screen time as possible. It’s hard to describe the calm and peace that often arises. I’m not that familiar with it, but would like to be.

Who can, though, when everywhere you go, everyone you observe, is absorbed in digitalia and media? You see it all these days: Truck drivers with earplugs; old ladies texting while driving; fine diners with computers next to their fois gras; dog-walkers yapping at invisible people; soccer moms staring at their screen (not their son) while yelling at their phone (not the ref). Heck, I saw a blind man yesterday crossing a downtown intersection while conversing via headphones.

Winters are long here and can make us cantankerous. Some may over-think things. Who knew?

But if given the choice of screen or ice? Give me ice. Give me silence. And above all, give me hope that my family still sees the frozen sheets, hears the howling wind, and doesn’t choke on the MacBook Air.

Airbnb: A $10 billion Idea?

Posted on: Friday, April 4th, 2014
Posted in: Spendology, Blog | Leave a comment

DSC_0006 - Version 2Here’s my hot stock tip: Consider taking some money out of the market (especially your internet allocation) and take a getaway, a winter vacation, or a full-on BreakAway. If you’ve stuck with stocks for the past four years, you’ve earned it! So, yes: Spend some money now!

  • First, the good news

We alterna-travelers have bought into one the biggest, brightest accommodations innovations since the lobby bar. Gone are the days when your holiday meant settling for (and in) a predictable Holiday Inn or a risky hostel. Now you can virtually bounce on the bed—and read about other guests’ experiences—in 600,000 crash pads and palaces across 34,000 cities.

That number will keep surging. And though Airbnb started as a humble idea (want to sleep on my air mattress for a few bucks?), the site now offers castles, boats, and more for your vacation or business lodging. Many travelers, including those in this household, take advantage routinely.

This picture, for example, shows the sunny view from our spacious, clean, and delightful two-bedroom flat overlooking a hip and bustling square in the heart of Copenhagen. Cost? $155 per night.

That’s cheap! And cheap! is not a word one gets to use often when touring Scandinavia. Cheap! would also not describe the value of Airbnb since private investors started throwing cash at this…Big Idea. Airbnb is now ‘valued’ at $10 billion. (!)

High fives to the vagabonds, right? Thanks to us, the Sharing Economy is alive and thriving; we can avoid overpriced, humdrum hotels; and three young, digital entrepreneurs are now billionaires.

  • Now for the bad news

Sadly, the Airbnb valuation may suggest that we’re entering another economic bubble. Don’t believe me? Then believe NYT’s business editor, Jeff Sommer, who wrote the article, “In Some Ways, it’s Looking Like 1999 in the Stock Market” this week, citing “stratospheric prices” for Airbnb, Facebook ($150 billion), and King Digital Entertainment (Candy Crush Saga, $7 billion).

As a oft-spanked investor for 30 years, I know how these things usually (always?) end, and it can hurt. Us, I mean. The Airbnb founders and the hedge-hogs feeding them funds usually come out just fine. But…

Meantime, if you’ve been riding the wave of stocks more than doubling since the Great Recession low in March, 2009, now might be an okay time to consider taking some money off the table to splurge on a trip. You now know where to find 600,000 possibilities!

During that Recession, I often said, “We just need a new bubble.” After all, some say we’ve had about five once-in-a-lifetime bubble-bursting events in a matter of a few decades. But NYT’s Mr. Sommer does say, “Maybe not the entire stock market” is in a bubble. Just Airbnb and some other companies in the internet space.

Still, we know how the house of cards can tumble down. And this raging bull market hasn’t even had a routine 10% correction since taking off. It’s overdue. Are you?

So go for it: Spend some profits; buy some free time. In your memory bank, your experiences may be worth even more than Airbnb.

Vacations: A Waste of Time

Posted on: Sunday, March 23rd, 2014
Posted in: Rants & Roadkill, Blog | Leave a comment

Vacations. P-shaw! People keep sending me balderdashian articles about the need to take a few weeks off every year, if only a few days at a time, and one wonders why they spend so much time worrying about other peoples’ spare time when they could be getting things done. Anyway, vacations are for the meek and sluggish.

Let us dispel some myths about this Pollyanna utopia that one allegedly lands at when, say, you pack your bags and fly to Vegas or Cabo or San Fran or wherever.

Myth #1: Vacations offer rest. This, of course, is poppycock—since vacations stress the already over-stressed routine, require months of planning, days of packing, and hours of travel—often on jets with bad air, dangerous food (if any at all), and seats the size of one butt cheek. Once “there,” simple but essential acts like procuring Subway and finding a toilet can be a chore. The R&R happens when you finally get home and collapse back into your harried life.

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Myth #2. Vacations are affordable. You kidding me? You gotta buy gas to drive anywhere, if only to your uncle’s musty cabin. And what about sandals and straw hats and Tommy Bahama shirts for the cruise or beach? And airfare and sleeps? Better to save your hard-earned cash for more important things, like big cars, Myley Cyrus concerts, and the newest iPhone.

IMG_5331

Myth #3. You meet interesting people. Nonsense! Vacationers (and the people who serve/sell to them) are unrealistic dweebs who like to set aside sanity for careless silliness. Take this guy. He’s been living on St. John, entertaining lazy grinners, making guitars out of cigar boxes, and mastering his own musical style for years. Poor guy. He could have been a banker in North Dakota and gotten rich on the oil boom.

P1070948 - Version 2

Myth #4. You bond with family. Yeah, so what? Who doesn’t get enough family? Why go play Frisbee or make castles on some beach when you already spent the holidays with them? Stay home and stay in your room—after you take out the garbage and shovel the driveway, that is!

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Myth #5. Vacations encourage exploration. Ya sure, you can leave your comfort zone and go swim with man-stinging rays or climb rocks. But those are slippery slopes—and you could get your eye poked out. Stay home, I say, and keep up with your BookFace and SnifChat and GetIntoMe accounts. There’s SO much to explore online!

P1070901 - Version 2

We’ve only just begun. This topic grows more vital daily—as frozen Americans fly recklessly away for warm “escapes” to potential doom and destruction.

Stay tuned, and stay home. Part 2 will be forthcoming before you can make a risky plan to get away…

 

 

 

 

Faith vs. Fear: Boomers Speak Out at MSP Meet-up

Posted on: Thursday, March 20th, 2014
Posted in: Blog | 2 comments

IMG_5181“I’m old!” In her final few years, that was Grandma’s response when anyone asked “How are you?”

It’s true; she was in her 90s, and finally feeling her age. Still, she lived alone on her farm part of the time, and only entered a home in her last months, when she knew her time was running out.

Of course none of us know how much time we have left.  And regardless of our age, there are days we feel old.  Yet with any luck, we still have many years to spread our wings–even those of us who are Boomers…

A few weeks ago, about 40 travel lovers gathered at Ginger Hop in Minneapolis to swap stories and dream trips. A panel of four experienced career breakers took on the topic of “Faith vs. Fear: The Career Break Face-off.” And Yours Truly served as Mr. M.C. Moderator. A good time was had by all!

After a social-lubrication hour, we had all attendees introduce themselves, tell about their career-break experience (if any), and mention the primary fear standing in the way of their fantasy BreakAway. The fears were mostly familiar, yet the Boomers’ concerns were sometimes surprising; were they starting to say, I’m old? Here are a few, plus my comments…

“I’m afraid that prospective employers will think I’m coming out of retirement.”

This came up more than once, and honestly had never crossed my mind before. But it seems totally legit, right? Picture someone half your age named Ms. H.R. Authority perusing your resume and sniffing, “You turned 62, took a year off to live in Peru, and now you want to go back to work? Really!?!”

“I’m worried about stopping contributions into my retirement savings—and spending money I may need later.”

That’s a smart worry. And we Americans are big spenders (who often forget to save in our early decades). But as we age, most people gradually come to their savings senses. Yet my 2-cent retort remains: Wouldn’t you love to take one year of your retirement now—even if it means working one year longer later?

“I’m concerned that I might have health problems.”

Again, so real. Fortunately, one panelist had recently returned from an ambitious one-year travel-athon—despite having diabetes and needing to carry refrigerated insulin and give himself shots four times a day. Full disclosure: He was in his 20s. Yet his story inspires regardless of your age. And other folks reflected stories of getting good—and often cheap!—care in almost every country.

“What if my family needs me or my parents get sick or die?”

That’s a tough one. And as Boomers are learning en masse, some serious things happen as you age: Responsibility. Caring. Illness. Death. But why not talk to your parents and kinfolk—and ask their opinion? They might just insist you go. They may even visit! And remember: If the Bad Thing happens, you can go home again.

“I’m just not sure I have the energy.”

Travel can be exhausting, no doubt. Yet there as many ways to travel as there are people to get up and go—and the words “slow travel” came up often last night (even by young whippersnappers). A sleepy fishing village may be just the ticket; climb every mountain in your next life. On the other hand, maybe a Big Break would recharge those tired batteries and get you off your Boomer butt!

Until you find yourself declaring, I’m old, it’s never too late chase a dream, or at least keep the hope alive.

After all, is there anything more energizing than stepping out of your stale routine, landing in a cool new scene, and jump-starting the rest of your life?

Closing Kozlak’s: Just Desserts?

Posted on: Sunday, March 9th, 2014
Posted in: SoulTrain, Blog | Leave a comment

photoTo paraphrase the song, everything old is dying again. In this case, it’s a venerable supper club near some swanky suburbs. After a three-generation run—from a family with deep roots in Twin Cities restaurants—Kozlak’s Royal Oaks will close its doors next weekend. About 35 employees will face an unexpected career break.

  • Tastes change

As the photo suggests, Kozlak’s has stayed stubbornly old-school in an era that finds most patrons preferring eating over dining, casual over elegant, and quickness over lingering. When was the last time you were presented several rich desserts displayed on a white tablecloth atop a silver platter by a tuxedo-clad lad?  Furthermore, this particular presenter happened to be Kozlak’s bartender, who left his solo post in the bustling lounge to dutifully dash to the kitchen and return with the tray to tempt us with the night’s confectionary options–while waitrons and patrons awaited his return so they could get their pina coladas and ice cream drinks.

To be sure, there are viable reasons why Kozlak’s will close. It happens to sit on a large, lovely property worth north of $1 million. Developers have been waiting for years to build, as it turns out, multi-unit senior housing (a market much more lucrative than Sunday jazz brunches). And establishments like this can get dated and tired, while their clientele gradually flies off or dies off, literally.

  • Bring on the Applebee’s

It’s sad, though, to see a slice of history get torn down. Sadder still, in this final week, is watching neighbors and regulars hug staffers and say good-bye. Restaurants provide an oasis of indulgence and calm; employees become both servants and friends. Unfortunately, for every family-run eatery we lose, another soul-less Applebee’s pops up.

Kozlak’s owners talk about a possible move to another location. But the obstacles are many; the odds remote. So slow-food guests who still relish a soup-and-salad bar must move on to other menus. And life-long employees face an unplanned career break.

Which takes me back a year or so, when we said good-bye to CVA, a grand arts school in historic St. Paul. In that experience, I saw much hope amid the sadness, and a mature acceptance of moving on for most folks. May this unplanned career break bring the same for the Kozlak’s staff—and may they enjoy some unplanned free time and a fresh start when this story ends.