Well, here we go again.

The stock market, and by that I mean virtually ALL stock markets, have headed south with a vengeance and violence I’ve not seen in my 24 years of holding stocks. .

Does it make a guy rethink flying away and spending buckets of moolah to shirk duties? YES. And how. And yet, if the trip cost $55 and that was all I had left after this stock crash, would I choose to spend $50 of those last dollars on this trip? Damn right!

After all, long-term go-getters expect troubles, and yet stick with their plans (like the 11 Commandments of Fiscal Fitness), even when the world doesn’t cooperate.

So before we get all depressed (like our economy) or fall to the floor (like the stock indices) or cry in our beer (like brokers), I’ll take a few minutes and point out…

10 REASONS WHY THIS STOCK MARKET CRASH DOESN’T MATTER
(Because 10 is not enough)

1. You don’t need the money now. In fact, one should rarely put money in stocks for less than, say, five years (a typical market cycle, so say some).
2. Today’s values don’t matter. What matters is what your investments are worth when you DO need the money.
3. Stocks don’t make anyone rich. Here’s what will: Family, friends, experiences.
4. We knew this would happen. The housing bubble, endless credit, mortgage messes, and more have become a house of cards waiting to collapse.
5. Losses are illusory. You only lose money for sure if you sell at the wrong time.
6. Buy low, sell high. For those with the stomach, now is the cheapest time to buy in more than five years.
7. Worrying won’t help. And we all must learn to cope with this kind of crap that hits the fan over and over throughout our lives.
8. Trust is dead. How can we trust these reckless Wall Streeters, bankers, real estate schmucks, politicians, and other leaders? Question authority.
9. Cash is king. Before investing anything, have several months of savings set aside in boring, safe places.
10. Don’t let your dreams crash. And don’t tie them too much to markets.
11. 55 good things happened today, even if the market did nearly go to 0.

• ODDS OF GOING: 75%…and while I may have to make adjustments to my life and this trip because of the losses, I suddenly feel more stubborn and committed.
• WHAT I’M DOING TO FIGHT MARKET ANGST: Kayaking, meditating, playing with children (who—brilliantly—don’t know or care!), hanging out with friends.
• BIGGEST PERSPECTIVE REMINDER: A dear friend was diagnosed with throat cancer on Friday. Maybe markets don’t matter so much. God bless him. Live for today.

Blogging is hard. I wonder if even the monstrous, fearless Paul Bunyan could master it. Oh sure, he could easily handle the lifehacking and workhacking thing. But could his bulky fingers handle the little, lonely keyboard?

Can’t believe nearly a week has gone by and I’ve not written a word. But if I had a dollar for every time I’ve written an entry in my head, well, I might could solve the current economic crisis.

Speaking of, allow me to introduce one of our (very few) FOK (Friends of Kirk) members: The Armchair Economist. He may fill in when this BlogStar is underwater.

Armchair Economist tends to speak in a strong voice, and now strongly recommends you read this excellent editorial by one of the Star Tribune’s editors. It’s about saving for the future, the current bear market, and the risk and speculation we all ingest every time we buy shares.

BTW, the Armchair Economist lives reclusively on a Midwest farm, and shows up in public only occasionally—and usually under heavy guard at the exclusive Rob Roy Club in midtown Manhattan. He won’t say from where he wrote this editorial.

Oh yeah, he’s also a bad keyboarder, so he keyboards ONLY in CAPITAL letters. Sorry for the annoyance; he means well.

MY FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES:

I HOPE YOU TOOK A MOMENT TO PERUSE THE “BEAR WITH ME” ARTICLE. WHAT A GEM! SUMMARIZES SO MUCH OF WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY IN BETWEEN POUNDING FISTS ON TABLES. TO WIT:

FIRST, PLEASE NOTE THAT OUR WRITER IS NOT A RICH MAN OR WALL STREETER. HE’S JUST A GUY TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK.

SHORT SELLING IS EVIL: SUDDENLY, SHORT SELLING IS SEEN AS UNPATRIOTIC, BAD FOR CAPITALISM, & “GREEDY.” PISH TOSH! AS IF CAPITALISM ITSELF WERE WORKING RIGHT NOW! RATHER, WE ARE SLOWLY SOCIALIZING WALL STREET. AND MUCH MORE. MEANWHILE, THE ENTREPRENEURS WHO GOT RICH OFF IT FIRST SLIP OUT UNMARKED EXITS (WITHOUT EVEN YELLING “FIRE SALE!”) WHILE SNICKERING AND CLUTCHING THEIR CASH. MILLIONS, BILLIONS, TRILLIONS. WHAT A FARCE!

WALL STREET IS A “CASINO”: OUR AUTHOR MR. BANKS (WHAT A RICH NAME!) QUOTES POSSIBLE PRESIDENT MCCAIN AS SAYING THAT CERTAIN INVESTORS “HAVE TURNED WALL STREET INTO A CASINO.” WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, JOHNNY-COME-(NOT-SO)-LATELY, THE STREET HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CASINO. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT MIRAGE HAS MANY MORE SCANTILY-CLAD WOMEN ON THE FLOOR, AND THEY SERVE STIFFER DRINKS! ONE MORE THING THEY SHARE: WHAT HAPPENS THERE…STAYS THERE.

AND FINALLY…

BUY-AND-HOLD CAN GROW MOLD: GUESS WHO TAUGHT US ALL TO BUY AND HOLD? THAT’S RIGHT: THE SAME INVESTMENT PROS THAT ARE NOW TEARING DOWN THE WORLD ECONOMY. SURE, IT CAN WORK. BUT SO CAN TAKING A SMALL ALLOCATION AND PLAYING THE VOLATILITY. BUY AND SELL AND VICE VERSA FOR EVERY 3% MOVE THIS YEAR AND YOU COULD BE RICH. BUY AND HOLD THIS YEAR? YOUR 401K MAY BECOME A 104K. FOR THAT MATTER, THE DOW FIRST CROSSED 1,000 IN 1966. IT DIDN’T MEANINGFULLY MOVE BEYOND THAT TIL 1982. HOLD THAT THOUGHT!

IN SUMMARY, MY FELLOW INVESTORS, BEWARE THE BEAR. EXPECT MUCH BULL. AND FOLLOW NEITHER HERD.

GODSPEED, from THE ARMCHAIR ECONOMIST

BlogWriter’s Note: THE ARMCHAIR ECONOMIST has now left the keyboard and gone back into seclusion. But you can reach him though this website, if you dare.